I wanted to slack off-even for a couple of hours.

I was having this kind of ‘odd’ feeling that I should run to you. Looking back, you hurt me the way he did. So, I’m actually stopping myself to do crazy stuff..again and again.

9:00 PM

My phone beeped. An sms from you-hell yeah, did you ever read my mind? You wanted me to come over to our usual place to chillax and have fun. It took me a minute to fully pick the path I’ll be taking-north or south?

I chose North.

I was thinking of an aliby and I wanted to be there to where you are.

Nope. I stayed firm with my decision-stay away.

I had fun seeing Arlan and Rose-had a good laughs as we watched the movie Vampire Sucks. Luckily, I managed to vent it out with the help of my friends of course.

My phone kept of beeping every now and then-asking me where am I and you are willing to wait, just to see me.

They knew that I’m up to something and well, I got an advice and of course whatever I do, it will all be up to me.

I remembered what happened on Oct. 4, 2009.

No. I just came from a not so good experience this week and meeting you might double the pain I’m dealing with.

3:00 AM

Baclaran. Believe it or not, I paid for the fare to where he was. No ‘what if’ moments keeps on running inside my head.

4:30 AM

Dasmariñas. When I got there, I was really scared and my heartbeat was beating so fast. For the first time, I did ask for a sign.

He wasn’t there anymore.

Good. Seeing him that night might lead me to do things which can take me (again) to complicated life.

Besides, I wanted to have his memories as it is. I’m up to something and I don’t want him to become part of it.

Maybe life wanted me to keep him as the man, I used to love.

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